The most important relationship in life is the relationship you have with yourself. Because no matter what happens, you will always be with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company. ~ Diane von Furstenberg
Although this is probably the phrasing most notably attributed to this sentiment, the idea of loving yourself and creating a relationship with yourself to last a lifetime is not a new thought process. Even Oscar Wilde (mid/late 1800s) who wrote during a time of huge economic change and world altering discoveries/upheaval said that “to love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.”
This idea of bettering ourselves, believing in ourselves, liking ourselves is something people want to work on and talk about no matter what is happening in the world. Famous books like Eat, Pray, Love were written around this idea of self discovery. Even Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and the City) can be credited with popularizing this theory.
“Don’t forget to fall in love with yourself first.”
This idea that by working on ourselves we’ll inevitably allow room for everything to fall into place is not new in nature.
Over the years I’ve spent a significant amount of time trying to embrace this mind-set, this thought process. In yoga you’re taught to have kind thoughts and no judgement not only towards others, but also yourself. We are our own worst critics and allow ourselves to be consumed by the voices in our head. The voice that says you’re not good enough, you’re a failure, she’s so much prettier, they’re more desirable because they’re faster and so forth. The list goes on.
Fear of this voice and the repercussions (both real and unsubstantiated) keep us from ever truly living and experiencing ourselves to our fullest. For me personally, this is something that has been heightened by anxiety. Through the years, I have worked on techniques to quiet the voice in my head and learn to love myself. This is something that like the muscles I use to swim, bike, run I have to train every.single.day.
Elizabeth Gilbert said it best…
“Speak to your darkest and most negative voice the way a hostage negotiator speaks to a violent psychopath: calmly, but firmly. Most of all, never back down. The life you are negotiating to save, after all, is your own.” – Big Magic
You only get one life. Maybe sometimes things are suppose to happen and you’re suppose to face challenges and changes, so that there is room for the things your meant for to happen. Why? Because you are worth it.